I have a problem with trying to fight too many battles at once.
I want to solve all my problems at the same time.
I’m not sure what makes me think I am capable of doing this or that it is even feasible, but here I am.
I am pursuing a graduate degree in a major that I am no longer invested in or interested in, which has left me more confused than ever about what I want to do with my life.
I am at a job that does not fulfill me or bring any real joy, which has left me feeling stuck and unhappy.
My friends, who I thought would be around forever, no longer keep in touch with me, making me feel sad and lonely.
I am trying to get healthy and lose weight, which I wrote about in my previous post, but it is hard work, and not seeing results fast enough can leave me frustrated and wanting to quit.
I have been trying to fix all of this at once, and I am here to tell you — I am failing miserably.
I want everything to be solved and to make clear sense.
Everything I am doing should be fulfilling and rewarding!
My life should be full of love and happiness, with all my friends!
I should be healthy and living my best life!
I want ALL of that to be true.
But, no matter how hard I try to make all that happen —
I feel like I’m just spinning in circles.
And, as usual, a conversation with my sister helped enlighten me.
The only way to conquer my giants is if I pick just ONE to focus all my energy on.
I don't need to slay ALL my Goliaths at once.
What’s the one thing I can deal with right now?
What’s the one thing I KNOW I can face?
What can I overcome with the stones and slingshot I have in hand at this very moment?
Well, let’s see…
I can’t quit graduate school.
I only have one semester left, and after two long years, that would be such a waste not to see it through until the end.
What will I do with it when I’m done? God only knows…
But I will surely finish the damn thing, even if I have to drag myself across that finish line.
My job is not my DREAM job.
I was not chosen and created specifically for this job.
Excel sheets and taxes aren’t my destiny, and it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life.
But in this season of my life, it pays my bills and provides insurance.
I don’t have to bring work home every night, be overworked, stressed out, or worry about finding covers when I have to be out of the office.
Regardless of not being the most exciting job, it’s the job that suits my life right now.
So, I’m going to stop resisting it so much.
I can’t be mad at my friends who have become distant from me.
And I can’t be brokenhearted, either.
It’s not their fault, nor is it mine.
We’re just in different seasons.
It’s difficult and sad, but clinging to them with all I have won’t work.
And maybe what I need to accept is that perhaps they didn’t leave me….but I let them go.
Maybe a part of me knew they couldn’t come along wherever I am headed.
I can’t hold on and cry over the void left or that I have no real friend group anymore.
I can’t desperately seek out empty relationships to fill in their places.
This isn’t the first time in my life that I have found myself friendless, and I don’t have to be brokenhearted about seasons that come to an end.
This is a part of my life that I can’t fix right now.
I shared with you in my last post about my battle with my weight and my desire to get healthy.
It’s an arduous process, and there are some days when I just don’t want to do it.
But I keep telling myself, the result will be worth it, so just keep on, keeping on.
I look at all these different circumstances in my life that I have been desperately trying to resolve simultaneously, but to no avail.
What I’ve been doing has left me feeling more tired, empty, frustrated, and lonely.
But, if I focus my energy on ONE thing…
ONE thing I can fix….
Then, I truly believe everything else will work itself out.
Look at David.
David hit Goliah with one stone — square in the forehead.
That’s all it took.
One stone.
One spot on his forehead.
He didn’t even need the other four stones he had.
As soon as Goliath fell….
…everything else fell, too —
right into place to prepare David for his destiny as king.
— he beheaded Goliah, the Israelites defeated the Philistines, and he became a high-ranking official in the army.
He set his eyes on one spot — where he knew he’d get a clear shot.
For me, that’s getting healthy. It’s a giant that I’ve avoided and ignored for far too long, but I am ready to face him.
So that’s what I’m going to do.
Put all my energy on this ONE Goliath because I know I can.
It won’t be easy, but if I’m only focusing on THAT battle, then everything else will fall into its rightful place once it's defeated.
And maybe that’s what YOU may need to do.
If you’re like me and you are trying to conquer a multitude of things at once, let’s take our cue from David…
Aim for what you KNOW you can deal with right now.
Once you’ve knocked Goliath down, everything else will fall right into place.
